\u201cBa\u015flamak i\u00e7in hi\u00e7bir zaman ge\u00e7 de\u011fildir,\u201d denir. \u201cBa\u015flamak bitirmenin yar\u0131s\u0131d\u0131r,\u201d denir. \u201cBilmemek ay\u0131p de\u011fil, \u00f6\u011frenmemek ay\u0131p,\u201d denir. \u201cSuya d\u00fc\u015fmeden y\u00fczme \u00f6\u011frenilmez,\u201d denir. \u201c\u00d6\u011frenmenin ya\u015f\u0131 yoktur,\u201d denir. Bu s\u00f6zler bilgiye ula\u015fmak i\u00e7in denemenin, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fman\u0131n, \u00e7aban\u0131n, tecr\u00fcbenin, belki en \u00f6nemlisi de sebat\u0131n, y\u0131lmaman\u0131n \u00f6nemini yaln\u0131zca hat\u0131rlatmakla kalmaz, kal\u0131nca bir \u00e7izgiyle de alt\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7izer. Tolstoy\u2019un hayli ileri ya\u015f\u0131nda bisiklet kullanmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmesi \u00f6rnek g\u00f6sterilir. Hak vermemek elde de\u011fil. Hem bizzat tecr\u00fcbe etti\u011fimiz hem de ba\u015fka hayatlara dair bildiklerimizden \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z dersler bunlar. B\u00fct\u00fcn olanaklar\u0131n t\u00fckenmi\u015f oldu\u011funu sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 anda bile yeniden yola \u00e7\u0131kma cesareti verir insana, yeni patikalar a\u00e7ar \u00f6n\u00fcne. Hepsinin hakl\u0131l\u0131k pay\u0131 olmas\u0131na ra\u011fmen ufak birer hilesi de vard\u0131r sanki. Bu \u00f6nermelerin do\u011frulu\u011fu aksini yanl\u0131\u015f k\u0131lmaya yeter mi acaba? Ba\u015flamak i\u00e7in oldu\u011fu gibi bitirmek i\u00e7in de ge\u00e7 kal\u0131namayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 iddia etmek m\u00fcmk\u00fcn m\u00fc? Sevdi\u011fim bir arkada\u015f\u0131m ge\u00e7 ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar i\u00e7in \u201cs\u0131kma can\u0131n\u0131, bitirmek ba\u015flaman\u0131n iki kat\u0131d\u0131r\u201d diye tak\u0131l\u0131r, asl\u0131nda bitirmenin iki kattan da \u00e7ok daha fazlas\u0131 oldu\u011funu muzip\u00e7e ima ederek kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakini ciddiyete davet ederdi. Peki, suya d\u00fc\u015fmeden \u00f6\u011frenilemeyen y\u00fczmeyi suya d\u00fc\u015fmek kendili\u011finden \u00f6\u011fretiyor mu? Su \u00fcst\u00fcnde kalmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmek ki\u015fiyi y\u00fcz\u00fcc\u00fc yap\u0131yor mu? Tolstoy bisiklet s\u00fcrmeyi \u00f6\u011frendi de sonras\u0131nda bisiklet yar\u0131\u015flar\u0131na kat\u0131l\u0131p \u015fampiyon mu oldu? Daha evvel hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yazmam\u0131\u015f, okumam\u0131\u015f olsayd\u0131 o m\u00fckemmel romanlar\u0131 yazmay\u0131 da ayn\u0131 ya\u015fta \u00f6\u011frenebilir miydi dersiniz. \u0130mk\u00e2ns\u0131z oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yleyemeyiz ama g\u00f6ze kolay g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcyor.<\/p>\n
Yazmak zor da okumak de\u011fil mi? Okurlu\u011fun da neredeyse bir meslek oldu\u011funu vurguluyorum s\u0131k s\u0131k. Kitapla, dergiyle belli bir s\u00fcre ha\u015f\u0131r ne\u015fir olmu\u015f, okuman\u0131n tad\u0131n\u0131 alm\u0131\u015f ki\u015finin hevesi kolay ge\u00e7mez. Zanaat\u0131n\u0131 ilerletmek ister. Hayat gailesi bol kitapl\u0131 g\u00fcnleri \u00e7o\u011fumuz i\u00e7in gen\u00e7li\u011fe dair tatl\u0131 an\u0131lara d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f olsa da sayfalar\u0131n aras\u0131nda kaybolaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z g\u00fcnlerin hayali haz\u0131r bekler bir kenarda. Y\u0131ll\u0131k iznini tamamen kitap okuyarak ge\u00e7irmek isteyenler vard\u0131r. Kimi s\u0131rf okuyamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 zamanlar\u0131 telafi edebilmek i\u00e7in fazla mesaili i\u015finden yakas\u0131n\u0131 kurtarmak arzusundad\u0131r. Daha realist olup riske girmek istemeyen baz\u0131lar\u0131 buralara g\u00f6n\u00fcl indirmez de her \u015feyi emeklili\u011fe ertelemi\u015ftir. Hele emeklilik bir gelsin kimse tutamayacakt\u0131r onu. Belki d\u00fcnya edebiyat\u0131n\u0131n klasiklerini ba\u015ftan okuyacakt\u0131r, belki felsefe veya Osmanl\u0131 tarihi \u00f6\u011frenecektir. Okumay\u0131 hepten b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015f olmasak da \u00e7o\u011fumuzun benzer niyetleri, ilgilenmek, daha yak\u0131ndan bakmak istedi\u011fi \u00f6zel konular, \u00f6zel kitaplar vard\u0131r. Ben de kendi halimi daha \u00e7ok ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 dinlerken onlar\u0131n aynas\u0131nda yakalar\u0131m. A\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a itiraf edemesem de okumay\u0131 bir \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcde s\u00fcre ve enerji imk\u00e2n\u0131yla alakal\u0131 bir mesele olarak g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc fark ederim. H\u00e2lbuki de\u011fildir. Bilgi, k\u00fclt\u00fcr birikerek geli\u015fiyor. Bu a\u00e7\u0131dan bak\u0131nca zamanlamas\u0131 \u00f6nemsiz de\u011fil. Her ya\u015f\u0131n olgunlu\u011funda, kafa yorulmas\u0131 gereken meseleler, var\u0131lmas\u0131 gereken duraklar var. Baz\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fck eserlerle erken kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fman\u0131n iyi olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131na dair kanaat yayg\u0131nd\u0131r. Enis Batur\u2019un yirmili ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda Niteliksiz Adam\u2019\u0131 okumaya niyetlenmesini Bilge Karasu\u2019nun erken bulmas\u0131 ilgin\u00e7 gelmi\u015fti bana. Batur da ilk denemesinde anlamak, anlamland\u0131rmak bak\u0131m\u0131ndan istedi\u011fini elde edemedi\u011fini, on y\u0131l kadar sonra tekrar denedi\u011finde kitab\u0131 ve yazar\u0131 daha iyi anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, Karasu\u2019ya da hak verdi\u011fini s\u00f6yler a\u00e7\u0131k y\u00fcreklilikle. 60\u2019lar\u0131nda tekrar okumay\u0131 denedi mi acaba? Okuduysa bu kez neler hissetti, neler d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc? Ya ilk okumay\u0131 60\u2019a b\u0131raksayd\u0131 benzer derinli\u011fi yakalayabilecek miydi? Ak\u0131l y\u00fcr\u00fctmek zor. Baz\u0131 farkl\u0131 yanlar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6recektir mutlaka ama ayn\u0131 bilgiyi s\u00fczmesinin m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sanm\u0131yorum. Ya\u015f\u0131n getirdi\u011fi s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar, endi\u015feler, tecr\u00fcbenin kazand\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00f6nyarg\u0131lar da alg\u0131y\u0131, dikkati kusurlu hale getirebiliyor.<\/p>\n
Belki o nedenle her \u015feyi erken ya\u015flarda t\u00fcketmek kadar, ge\u00e7 zamanlara b\u0131rak\u0131p bayatlamas\u0131na izin vermek de do\u011fru de\u011fil. S\u00f6z konusu olan kitaplarsa \u00f6mr\u00fcn her d\u00f6neminde seferler d\u00fczenlenmeli onlara do\u011fru. Her ya\u015f\u0131n, ya\u015fant\u0131n\u0131n, her derdin kitaplarda yan\u0131t\u0131n\u0131 arad\u0131\u011f\u0131, aramad\u0131\u011f\u0131 halde ke\u015ffetti\u011fi farkl\u0131 sorular var. Lizbon\u2019a Gece Treni<\/em>\u2019nde yeti\u015fkinli\u011finde piyano \u00e7almay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmeye heveslenen Jorge, ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 derslere ve \u0131srarl\u0131 \u00e7abalar\u0131na ra\u011fmen piyanoyu hi\u00e7bir zaman erken ya\u015flarda \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015f biri gibi \u00e7alamayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissetti\u011finde \u00f6l\u00fcml\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcn de ilk kez bilincine var\u0131yor ve bu onu derin bir bunal\u0131ma s\u00fcr\u00fckl\u00fcyordu. Jorge ile ayn\u0131 ya\u015flardayd\u0131m ve bu sat\u0131rlarla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmak beni bunal\u0131ma s\u00fcr\u00fcklememi\u015fti ama ya\u015f\u0131m itibar\u0131yla olmak veya yapmak f\u0131rsat\u0131n\u0131 ka\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015feyleri ilk kez o kadar uzun boylu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum. Benim i\u00e7in de\u011ferli olan o uyar\u0131c\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceyle o anda kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmakt\u0131.<\/p>\n \u201cAk\u0131llar\u0131 pazara \u00e7\u0131karm\u0131\u015flar da herkes yine kendi akl\u0131n\u0131 alm\u0131\u015f\u201d diye atas\u00f6z\u00fc var. Benzer bi\u00e7imde her ya\u015f\u0131n da kendi akl\u0131ndan a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 memnuniyeti de nedense s\u0131k batar g\u00f6z\u00fcme. Gen\u00e7li\u011fimizin enerjisini, \u00e7evikli\u011fini, zek\u00e2s\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6zl\u00fcyoruz da akl\u0131n\u0131 pek \u00f6zlemiyoruz. Bug\u00fcnk\u00fc akl\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 da ileride \u00f6zlemeyece\u011fiz. \u00d6te yandan ya\u015fl\u0131lar\u0131n g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f ge\u00e7irmi\u015fli\u011fine, bilmi\u015fli\u011fine de hafif \u00fcstten davranarak tolerans g\u00f6steriyoruz. S\u00f6zlerini dinliyoruz ama yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 yapm\u0131yoruz. Onlar\u0131n ya\u015f\u0131na geldi\u011fimizde bunu da unutaca\u011f\u0131z ve yine kendimizden \u00e7ok memnun olaca\u011f\u0131z. Fikirlerimizin, de\u011ferlerimizin, yarg\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n \u015fimdideki akl\u0131m\u0131za ait oldu\u011funu, belki birka\u00e7 y\u0131l evvelkinden, belki birka\u00e7 y\u0131l sonrakinden farkl\u0131 oldu\u011funu g\u00f6rmek istemiyoruz. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce yerine eyleme \u00f6ncelik isteyen bu \u00e7a\u011fa uygun bi\u00e7imde, biz de d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeden ya\u015famak istiyoruz.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cBa\u015flamak i\u00e7in hi\u00e7bir zaman ge\u00e7 de\u011fildir,\u201d denir. \u201cBa\u015flamak bitirmenin yar\u0131s\u0131d\u0131r,\u201d denir. \u201cBilmemek ay\u0131p de\u011fil, \u00f6\u011frenmemek ay\u0131p,\u201d denir. \u201cSuya d\u00fc\u015fmeden y\u00fczme \u00f6\u011frenilmez,\u201d denir. \u201c\u00d6\u011frenmenin ya\u015f\u0131 yoktur,\u201d denir. Bu s\u00f6zler bilgiye ula\u015fmak i\u00e7in denemenin, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fman\u0131n, \u00e7aban\u0131n, tecr\u00fcbenin, belki en \u00f6nemlisi de sebat\u0131n, y\u0131lmaman\u0131n \u00f6nemini yaln\u0131zca hat\u0131rlatmakla kalmaz, kal\u0131nca bir \u00e7izgiyle de alt\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7izer. Tolstoy\u2019un hayli ileri ya\u015f\u0131nda […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":74,"featured_media":34518,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4852,38,513,515,510],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-34517","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-184-sayi","category-dergi-sayilari","category-kitapcil","category-nautilus","category-surekli-bolumler"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t