{"id":60798,"date":"2023-12-01T00:00:49","date_gmt":"2023-11-30T21:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bilimvegelecek.com.tr\/?p=60798"},"modified":"2023-12-01T00:09:33","modified_gmt":"2023-11-30T21:09:33","slug":"belki","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bilimvegelecek.com.tr\/index.php\/2023\/12\/01\/belki","title":{"rendered":"Belki"},"content":{"rendered":"

An\u0131l Ceren Altunkanat<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u201cK\u0131saca, denemeden bilenlerden daha aptal, gidip de d\u00f6nmeyenlerden daha \u015fansl\u0131yd\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n

Aral\u0131k ay\u0131 malumunuz; biten y\u0131l\u0131n hesab\u0131 kitab\u0131 d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcr \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fcze. Yapt\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z, yapamad\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z; ac\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z, mutluluklar\u0131m\u0131z; kapanan defterler, yeni ba\u015flayan co\u015fkular\u2026 Ama bu y\u0131l \u00f6yle de\u011fil. Bu y\u0131l 6 \u015eubat\u2019ta bitti, ne var ne yok orada kald\u0131. Sadece deprem de\u011fildi g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz, b\u00fct\u00fcn sistemleri \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f devleti, insanlar can \u00e7eki\u015firken bile \u00e7almaktan geri kalmayan d\u00fczeni, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u00fclkeyi saran g\u00fcvensizli\u011fi g\u00f6rd\u00fck. Kimsenin umurunda olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, sosyal devlet laflar\u0131n\u0131n bu topraklarda ac\u0131 bir \u015faka oldu\u011funu g\u00f6rd\u00fck. Deprem b\u00f6lgesinde ya\u015famaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan insanlar bunu h\u00e2l\u00e2 g\u00f6r\u00fcyor. Biz unuttuk. \u015eimdilik. Ba\u015fka bir felakete kadar.<\/p>\n

Bu y\u0131l\u0131n k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fcklerini depremle k\u0131s\u0131tl\u0131 tuttu\u011fumu sanman\u0131z beni \u00fczer; yang\u0131nlar\u0131m\u0131z oldu, hukuksuzlu\u011fa doyduk, ekolojik y\u0131k\u0131m buram\u0131za (aln\u0131m\u0131n tepesini g\u00f6steriyorum) geldi. Haks\u0131z yere hapiste tutulanlar, maden u\u011fruna y\u0131k\u0131lanlar, av ihaleleriyle can\u0131ndan olanlar, insan hatas\u0131yla k\u00fcl olanlar, bar\u0131namayanlar, sahipsiz kalan \u00f6\u011frenciler\u2026 \u00dclkemiz bu a\u00e7\u0131dan \u00e7ok zengin, ben bir s\u00f6yleyeyim, siz on ekleyin.<\/p>\n

2023\u2019\u00fc \u00f6zetle derseniz, peri\u015fan olduk derim. O kadar. Bir umut; belki de bu g\u00fcne\u015f do\u011fmadan \u00f6nceki en karanl\u0131k y\u0131ld\u0131r. Belki bunca k\u0131y\u0131m, haks\u0131zl\u0131k ve hukuksuzluk bir doyum noktas\u0131na ula\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r; kab\u0131ndan ta\u015facakt\u0131r belki bu \u00fclke. Belki onurunun yeniden ku\u015fanacakt\u0131r bu halk. Belki.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

G\u00f6lgeler \u00e7ekilince ne g\u00f6rece\u011fiz? Kim olaca\u011f\u0131z \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011fa kavu\u015funca? Asl\u0131nda kimdik ve sakland\u0131k g\u00f6lgelerde? Yoksa g\u00f6lgelerin ard\u0131nda zifir karanl\u0131k m\u0131 bizi bekleyen? Tam da kalbimiz gibi? Belki karanl\u0131k ama sevgiye a\u00e7 bir zavall\u0131? Belki s\u0131radanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7inde kendini yoklukla ta\u00e7land\u0131ran biri? Belki olmaktan en korktu\u011fumuz ki\u015fi? Annemiz? Babam\u0131z? Ta kendimiz?<\/p>\n

\u201cGer\u00e7ek y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc ameliyatla de\u011fi\u015ftiren bir adam\u0131n sabah uyand\u0131\u011f\u0131nda eski surat\u0131yla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmas\u0131 gibiydi o g\u00fcnlerdeki h\u00e2lim. Art\u0131k kendimden \u00e7ok annemdim. Ve i\u015fin k\u00f6t\u00fcs\u00fc, b\u00f6yle hissetmek rahats\u0131z etmiyordu beni.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cahide Birg\u00fcl\u2019\u00fcn ilk roman\u0131, G\u00f6lgeler \u00c7ekildi\u011finde<\/em>, ek\u015fimt\u0131rak ya\u015fam\u0131 i\u00e7inde kendince yuvarlanan Esin\u2019i, onun kal\u0131c\u0131 bir misafirle tepetaklak olan dengesini anlat\u0131yor. (Ne yalan s\u00f6yleyeyim, okurken akl\u0131ma s\u0131k s\u0131k Simone de Beauvoir\u2019un Konuk K\u0131z<\/em> roman\u0131 geldi.) Deniz hayat\u0131na s\u0131zd\u0131k\u00e7a kendinde bilmedi\u011fi katmanlar\u0131 ke\u015ffeden Esin, hem bir girdaba s\u00fcr\u00fcklenir hem de hayat\u0131na sinen s\u0131radanl\u0131kla y\u00fczle\u015fir. Uzayan misafirlik ve Deniz\u2019le kurdu\u011fu e\u011freti ili\u015fki onu b\u00fct\u00fcn ili\u015fkilerini, kalbinin en derinlerini sorgulamaya iter.<\/p>\n

\u201cGiderek bu ili\u015fkinin bana s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131 gibi, umutsuzluk gibi, karamsarl\u0131k gibi ara ara hissetti\u011fim pek \u00e7ok olumsuz duygunun yan\u0131 s\u0131ra, art\u0131k \u00fczerime sinmeye ba\u015flayan koyu bir ya\u015fl\u0131l\u0131k duru\u015fu da y\u00fckledi\u011finin fark\u0131ndayd\u0131m. As\u0131l dayan\u0131lmaz gelen de buydu. B\u00f6yle olmak istemiyordum.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ba\u015fka biri olmak m\u00fcmk\u00fcn m\u00fc? Hayat\u0131m\u0131za giren ve g\u00f6lgeleri bir s\u00fcre i\u00e7in bile olsa kovan biri ba\u015fkas\u0131 k\u0131lar m\u0131 bizi? Ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131n elini tutarak de\u011fi\u015ftirebilir miyiz derimizi? Kasvete bo\u011fulmu\u015f bir ya\u015fam\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karabilir miyiz g\u00fcn \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131na?<\/p>\n

\u201cSan\u0131r\u0131m bu yan\u0131lsama benim gibi ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n da ba\u015f\u0131na gelmi\u015ftir; insan her \u015feyin yolunda gitti\u011fine dair bir iyimserlik havas\u0131na kendini kapt\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, b\u00fct\u00fcn duyular\u0131 da usul usul uyu\u015fur sanki.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sonra, o iyimserlik havas\u0131 balon gibi s\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde kendiyle bir kez daha ba\u015f ba\u015fa kal\u0131r insan. Bu kez \u00e7ok daha sars\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, \u00e7ok daha d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr asl\u0131nda; o mutluluk h\u00e2li geride zehir gibi bir tat b\u0131rak\u0131r. Do\u011frusu mutlu olup o mutlulu\u011fu yitirtmektense kadehi duda\u011fa hi\u00e7 g\u00f6t\u00fcrmemek ye\u011fdir. De\u011fil mi?<\/p>\n

\u201cG\u00fcne\u015f sizin topraklar\u0131n\u0131zda batm\u0131\u015fsa, ba\u015fka bir yerde do\u011fdu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmezsiniz. Gecenin b\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fcnyay\u0131 kaplad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 san\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z.\u201d<\/p>\n

G\u00f6lgeler \u00c7ekildi\u011finde<\/em> pek de s\u00f6z etmek istemedi\u011fimiz duygular\u0131 ve ruh h\u00e2llerini, o s\u0131radanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 saklamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ama ta bo\u011faz\u0131m\u0131za kadar batt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bunalt\u0131c\u0131 ya\u015famlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 sakince d\u00f6k\u00fcyor \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fcze. Ka\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc de mutlulu\u011fu irdeliyor sat\u0131r sat\u0131r; \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc bekledi\u011fimiz evlerin i\u00e7 bay\u0131ltan kokusu y\u00fckseliyor s\u00f6zc\u00fcklerden.<\/p>\n

Yalan m\u0131? Bir misafir bekliyor gibiyiz hepimiz? Bizi bize tan\u0131tacak, ya\u015fam\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 sonunda ba\u015flatacak bir misafir? Ad\u0131 Deniz de olabilir, Ya\u015fam da\u2026 Ne fark eder? G\u00f6lgeleri defetsin, en az\u0131ndan bir s\u00fcre kalbimizin att\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bize hissettirsin, de\u011fil mi?<\/p>\n

\u201cHepimiz, onunla bildi\u011fimizden, oldu\u011fumuzu sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zdan bamba\u015fka kimliklere b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f ve belki de kendimizi bile \u015fa\u015f\u0131rtan, yabanc\u0131, hatta irkiltici bir \u2018ben\u2019le y\u00fcz y\u00fcze gelmi\u015ftik.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ama sonunda evlerin o bilindik kokusuna hapis kal\u0131r insan; evet, bir \u015fey k\u0131p\u0131rdam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r yerinden ama k\u00fcsk\u00fcnce, yenilgiyle d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr i\u015fte \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6lgeye. Zehir gibi bir tat kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r geriye. Ve birka\u00e7 k\u00fcsk\u00fcn hik\u00e2ye\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cA\u011flar, ama yine de onlara hak verirdim. Neden b\u00f6yle tertemiz oldu\u011fumu, neden di\u011ferleri gibi her zaman soka\u011fa \u00e7\u0131kamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bilemez, farkl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan utanarak ahmakl\u0131kla k\u0131zg\u0131nl\u0131k aras\u0131nda bir yerde dururdum.\u201d<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Yeni y\u0131l\u0131n hepinize sa\u011fl\u0131k ve ne\u015fe; \u00fclkemize nicedir yoklu\u011funu \u00e7ekti\u011fimiz adaleti ve umudu getirmesini diliyorum.<\/p>\n

Her sayfas\u0131 esin dolu bir ay olsun.<\/p>\n

-G\u00f6lgeler \u00c7ekildi\u011finde, Cahide Birg\u00fcl, Kafka Kitap, s. 205<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An\u0131l Ceren Altunkanat \u00a0\u201cK\u0131saca, denemeden bilenlerden daha aptal, gidip de d\u00f6nmeyenlerden daha \u015fansl\u0131yd\u0131m.\u201d Aral\u0131k ay\u0131 malumunuz; biten y\u0131l\u0131n hesab\u0131 kitab\u0131 d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcr \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fcze. Yapt\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z, yapamad\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z; ac\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z, mutluluklar\u0131m\u0131z; kapanan defterler, yeni ba\u015flayan co\u015fkular\u2026 Ama bu y\u0131l \u00f6yle de\u011fil. Bu y\u0131l 6 \u015eubat\u2019ta bitti, ne var ne yok orada kald\u0131. Sadece deprem de\u011fildi g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz, b\u00fct\u00fcn sistemleri \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f devleti, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":632,"featured_media":60814,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9432,38,513,510,7178],"tags":[7222,9461,9460,9462,7296],"class_list":["post-60798","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-236-sayi","category-dergi-sayilari","category-kitapcil","category-surekli-bolumler","category-ucuncu-tekir-sahis","tag-anil-ceren-altunkanat","tag-cahide-birgul","tag-golgeler-cekildiginde","tag-kafka-kitap","tag-ucuncu-tekir-sahis"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t