{"id":61652,"date":"2024-03-01T00:00:36","date_gmt":"2024-02-29T21:00:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bilimvegelecek.com.tr\/?p=61652"},"modified":"2024-02-28T19:42:41","modified_gmt":"2024-02-28T16:42:41","slug":"ailenin-karanligi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bilimvegelecek.com.tr\/index.php\/2024\/03\/01\/ailenin-karanligi","title":{"rendered":"Ailenin karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>An\u0131l Ceren Altunkanat<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Eros i\u00e7in<br \/>\n<\/em>Karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde debelenen, kimi zaman el yordam\u0131yla bir par\u00e7a ayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011fa ula\u015fan ama k\u0131sa bir s\u00fcre sonra onu da y\u0131ld\u0131zs\u0131z gecelerde yitirenler. Hayat\u0131n\u0131 bu karanl\u0131k i\u00e7inde in\u015fa edip, karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fcten iktidar arzusunu burada dindirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fanlar; hayat\u0131 karanl\u0131k bir iktidar arzusundan ibaret olanlar. Sevmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131p t\u00f6kezleyenler, elinden sevmekten ba\u015fka \u015fey gelmeyenler, sevgiyi k\u0131s\u0131r bir karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde tahakk\u00fcme d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrenler\u2026 Nil\u00fcfer, Haluk, Memo\u2026 \u00dc\u00e7 karde\u015f; ayn\u0131 karanl\u0131kta, ayn\u0131 anne ve baban\u0131n elinde, ayn\u0131 irinli ge\u00e7mi\u015fte yeti\u015fen \u00fc\u00e7 ki\u015fi\u2026<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNeyse, hayat\u0131n ba\u015fka zevklerinin yan\u0131nda pek de \u00f6nemli say\u0131lmayacak savruk ve \u00f6zg\u00fcr bir yatak keyfi bile ya\u015famad\u0131 annem. T\u0131pk\u0131 d\u00fcnya \u00fczerinde oldu\u011fu gibi, yatakta da kendine ayr\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131na inand\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerin s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 asla a\u015fmad\u0131, koca yata\u011f\u0131n art\u0131k b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fcyle ona ait oldu\u011funu bildi belki ama bunun tad\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karmay\u0131 reddetti. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck mutluluklardan uzak durmay\u0131, kendini bu kadar\u0131na bile lay\u0131k g\u00f6rmemeyi s\u00fcrd\u00fcrd\u00fc ya\u015fad\u0131k\u00e7a\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Cahide Birg\u00fcn <em>Geceye Uyananlar<\/em>\u2019da ailenin karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ve yok edicili\u011fini, \u00fclkenin karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve k\u0131y\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131yla harmanlayarak \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fcze koyuyor. Ne mek\u00e2n tasvirleri tesad\u00fcfi ne karakter in\u015fas\u0131. Asker emeklisi baba, g\u00fcce tap\u0131nan bir anne, te\u015fkilat mensubu bir a\u011fabey, engelli erkek karde\u015f, her yerde ayr\u0131ks\u0131, her yolun yabanc\u0131s\u0131 k\u0131z karde\u015f. Ve baban\u0131n iktidar\u0131n\u0131, iktidar\u0131n ac\u0131mas\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 temsil eden, babadan Haluk\u2019a ge\u00e7en kam\u00e7\u0131 koleksiyonu\u2026<\/p>\n<p>\u201cA\u011fac\u0131n k\u00f6kleri, k\u00f6k de\u011fildi asl\u0131nda. Biraz daha dikkat edince g\u00f6r\u00fclebiliyordu, topra\u011fa s\u0131k\u0131ca yap\u0131\u015f\u0131p derinlere uzanmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan o kapkara kollar, benim kam\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131md\u0131! Nefesimi tutarak sayd\u0131m, yan\u0131lm\u0131yordum, tam on \u00fc\u00e7 tane k\u00f6k \u00e7izmi\u015fti Memo. On \u00fc\u00e7 bi\u00e7imsiz kam\u00e7\u0131.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Anne \u00f6l\u00fcnce ailenin k\u00f6klerindeki \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcme saklanamaz h\u00e2le gelir; t\u00fck\u00fcr\u00fckle yap\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f ba\u011flar da\u011f\u0131l\u0131r, aileyi bir arada tutan al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar gev\u015feyip ufalan\u0131r. Ailenin karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda tutunduklar\u0131 sevgi ikameleri \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fck di\u015f gibi s\u0131zlar, ne kadar g\u00f6zlerini kapatsalar da g\u00f6vde y\u0131k\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r, bundan ka\u00e7amazlar. Nil\u00fcfer yeni bir hayat\u0131n olana\u011f\u0131n\u0131, belki sevginin olana\u011f\u0131n\u0131 dener ama bu kez sadece ev de\u011fil, \u00fclkenin karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 yutar b\u00fct\u00fcn umudunu\u2026 Suat\u2019\u0131 ve say\u0131s\u0131z insan\u0131 yutup yitirdi\u011fi gibi.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHepsi \u00fc\u00e7 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 be\u015f yukar\u0131 birbirine benzer ve hi\u00e7biri kolay kolay dile getirilemez bu irinle\u015fmi\u015f dertlerin. \u00c7o\u011funun k\u00f6k\u00fcnde ma\u011flubiyet, \u00e7aresizlik ve talihsizlik yatar. Belki bir\u00e7ok ki\u015fiye m\u00e2n\u00e2s\u0131z gelebilir ama bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc iyile\u015fmeyen bu yaralar evlerin havas\u0131nda gizlenmi\u015f olmal\u0131 diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u00fcm hep.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Su\u00e7lulu\u011fun, sevgisizli\u011fin, sorumluluk ve zorunluluklar\u0131n a\u011f\u0131nda debelendik\u00e7e batarlar. \u00dclke de batar bir yandan, bunu Haluk\u2019ta g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u00fcz en \u00e7ok. Pencereleri, perdeleri a\u00e7maya gerek kalmaz bir s\u00fcre sonra; art\u0131k g\u00fcn\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 de\u011fildir d\u0131\u015far\u0131dan gelen, zifiri karanl\u0131kt\u0131r.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cO zamanlar anlamazd\u0131m, \u015fimdiyse \u00e7ok basit geliyor art\u0131k. \u0130nsanlar sorumluluk duygular\u0131n\u0131 yitirse de neyi yitirdiklerini asla unutmuyorlar. Bu unutamay\u0131\u015f ar\u0131zal\u0131 bir musluk gibi ya\u015fad\u0131k\u00e7a i\u00e7lerine daml\u0131yor.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u0130nsan aile i\u00e7inde \u00e7ok \u015feyi unutuyor, normalle\u015ftiriyor ya da \u00fcstesinden geldi\u011fi yan\u0131lsamas\u0131na kap\u0131l\u0131yor. Ama Birg\u00fcl hakl\u0131, s\u0131z\u0131 unutulmuyor sadece k\u0131yafet de\u011fi\u015ftiriyor\u2026 ve orada kal\u0131yor. Evlere sinen koku misali, insan\u0131n ta i\u00e7ine i\u015fliyor. Y\u00fczle\u015fmek, hatta belki \u00f6de\u015fmek\u2026 Bilmem, m\u00fcmk\u00fcn m\u00fc? Onca karanl\u0131\u011fa g\u00f6m\u00fclm\u00fc\u015fken bu m\u00fcmk\u00fcn m\u00fc? \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc aile ne kadar ka\u00e7arsan\u0131z ka\u00e7\u0131n, sizi b\u0131kmadan kendi karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131na \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131yor. \u00dclke gibi.<\/p>\n<p>Bizi kendine al\u0131\u015ft\u0131ran bir karanl\u0131k sunuyor her ikisi de. Birbirlerini besliyorlar; b\u00fcy\u00fcyen sadece \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcme oysa. Ve bu karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n, bu \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcmenin i\u00e7inde yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131lmaz bir s\u0131\u011f\u0131nak h\u00e2line geliyor yava\u015f yava\u015f. O s\u0131\u011f\u0131nak da y\u0131ld\u0131zs\u0131z bir geceye b\u00fcr\u00fcnene dek.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u015eimdi ise i\u00e7inde olabilece\u011fim, ger\u00e7ekten y\u00fcrekten i\u00e7inde olabilece\u011fim insanlar\u0131n aras\u0131na yine giremeyece\u011fimi biliyordum. Giremiyordum i\u015fte. Beceremiyordum bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc\u2026 Ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131z olan bendim. Hep oldu\u011fu gibi yak\u0131\u015fmayan, ayk\u0131r\u0131, yabanc\u0131 duran bendim. Kimsenin su\u00e7u yoktu bunda.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Geceye Uyananlar<\/em> Memo, Nil\u00fcfer ve Haluk \u00fczerinden bize \u00fclkenin yak\u0131n tarihini, ailenin kadim tarihini anlat\u0131yor. Kam\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131n ve korkular\u0131n, sevgisizli\u011fin ve su\u00e7lulu\u011fun hik\u00e2yesi bu. Bir batakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn umutlar\u0131 ve ya\u015famlar\u0131 i\u00e7ine \u00e7eki\u015finin hik\u00e2yesi. Bizim yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bir batakl\u0131k bu; susarak, unutarak ve normalle\u015ftirerek besledi\u011fimiz bir karanl\u0131k.<\/p>\n<p>Her sayfas\u0131 esin dolu bir ay dilerim.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Geceye Uyananlar, Cahide Birg\u00fcl, Kafka Kitap, s. 333. <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>An\u0131l Ceren Altunkanat Eros i\u00e7in Karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde debelenen, kimi zaman el yordam\u0131yla bir par\u00e7a ayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011fa ula\u015fan ama k\u0131sa bir s\u00fcre sonra onu da y\u0131ld\u0131zs\u0131z gecelerde yitirenler. Hayat\u0131n\u0131 bu karanl\u0131k i\u00e7inde in\u015fa edip, karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fcten iktidar arzusunu burada dindirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fanlar; hayat\u0131 karanl\u0131k bir iktidar arzusundan ibaret olanlar. Sevmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131p t\u00f6kezleyenler, elinden sevmekten ba\u015fka \u015fey gelmeyenler, sevgiyi [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":632,"featured_media":61653,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9585,38,513,510,7178],"tags":[9461,9620,9462],"class_list":["post-61652","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-239-sayi","category-dergi-sayilari","category-kitapcil","category-surekli-bolumler","category-ucuncu-tekir-sahis","tag-cahide-birgul","tag-geceye-uyananlar","tag-kafka-kitap"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilimvegelecek.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/61652","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilimvegelecek.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilimvegelecek.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilimvegelecek.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/632"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilimvegelecek.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=61652"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bilimvegelecek.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/61652\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilimvegelecek.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/61653"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilimvegelecek.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=61652"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilimvegelecek.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=61652"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilimvegelecek.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=61652"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}